You may have some expectations of what bonding with a cat will look or feel like. The first step to bond with your cat is to curb these expectations.
Cats can be solitary animals. They do not typically show the hyperactive and immediate affection that dogs do to their owners. They are likely to spend most of their time to themselves, and thus it is important to give them the space they need.
Apart from the fulfilment of a cat’s physical needs, it is crucial to create a safe and playful environment within which a cat can feel unthreatened and comfortable.
Two primary aspects of a cat’s psychological needs are the satisfaction of their predatory instincts, and their interactions with their owner.
Cats are evolutionarily programmed to hunt, and although for generations many of them have been bred to be domestic house pets, they still retain this programming. This is why a huge part of cat care is the amount of stimulation they receive on a daily basis. Playing with your cat should involve movement and energy, for example, by using dangling toys. This will engage them to stalk, chase, pounce, and attack. This will focus their energy onto harmless activities, and will make them much less likely to be aggressive with their owners or other cats. Therefore, using toys and other objects is the way to go, rather than using your own hands and body, which might instead encourage your cat to see you as a toy. Playtime should also not be endless and frustrating; let your cat catch and attack a toy or offer it treats so that it feels a sense of reward.
When interacting with your cat, it is important to remember that every cat is different. Some will be more affectionate, some will come to you more, some will enjoy being cuddled or picked up, while others will maintain a distance. No matter how adorable or fluffy your cat is, constantly smothering them may just create more distance. Cats are more than happy to receive attention and love, but usually on their own terms.
Although this may seem overwhelming at first, incorporating these habits bit by bit will ensure an emotionally satisfied pet and a long lasting bond.